[Jean Paul Gaultier caftan, $795 @saks.com]
JPG, you are a genius, my friend. When you’re not designing S&M outfits for Madonna, that is. This tribal-style caftan is so exotic and worldly that, before I’d even finished reading its description on saks.com, I realized I was beating Rob’s cheeks like bongos and singing “The Circle of Life.”
Nerd alert: if I’m not swimming against the general run-out that is my collection of unread fashion magazines, or teaching Eli colloquial French phrases, I’m playing online geography quiz games—my favorite exercise is matching the flag to the correct country. This garment reminded me of a flag—maybe Chad? or Spain?—or a Turkish spa towel like the ones we just got from Scents & Feel. [I’ll do a separate post on those at some point because they are d.r.e.a.m.y.]
When wearing this look, think accessories like: scarab jewelry, perhaps a pith helmet, a lengthy horse-hair whip for swatting away flies, a dusty Coke bottle flute*, or maybe a monkey on a leash—whose brains you are not going to consume later at dinner!—just floppy baby snakes and warthog anuses—have some standards, people, seriously.
This post is feeling really disjointed and delightfully incoherent, and now I’m laughing uncontrollably as new (and less appropriate) references pop into my head.
Wrapping up—this caftan is like Caftan 101, and a beautiful barometer by which to gauge what is a good or bad caftan, were you in the market for one. Bad caftan: polyester muumuu, pastels, polka dots. Good caftan: see above.
*By the way, my Granny Marge took me to see this movie in the theatre when I was little, one hot Florida day she was babysitting me, and I do believe it was the first time I’ve ever laughed so hard I cried. Thanks, Granny.
[Trailer for The Gods Must Be Crazy]