I just want to stay inside, wrapped up in a blanket, listening to Fleet Foxes and reprogramming my memory of the way I spent half of my lunch break today: waiting on a crackhead to count change with his claw-like nails so he could buy a bag of chips at the Price Chopper.
Bummer. Instead, let’s pretend it was a unicorn who was holding up the line, pushing daisies forward on the check-out counter with his hoof—currency for the bag of magic dust he was going to take outside and sprinkle over the crackheads sitting behind the gas station, turning them into a basket of kittens!
I’ve been wearing these boots nonstop for 2 weeks. And I’ve put this exact outfit on 3 nights in a row. Figured if I posted it, it’d be like a mini-purge.
Speaking of repetitive behaviors, I noticed I eat eggs for about 3/4 of my meals in a week… with Cholula. Fitting, really, since an ‘egg in a frame’ was the first thing I learned to cook from my kid’s cookbook. Creature of habit.
Our new favorite show, Thintervention, told me I’m supposed to be eating egg yolks, so now my tone is going to change from warm and engaging to authoritative and smug. Apparently egg yolks have fat burning properties. Also, Nikki Wood (Twitter handle: @DarlingItsNikki) is by far the most entertaining person on the show, and she personally tweeted me. I swear. It wasn’t about egg yolks—or vodka—but about how I mentioned I wanted to steal her and lock her up in my house. For full effect, read the following tweet with an Australian accent:
@CorksandCaftans Lock me in your house? Nervous. Is it a nice house? xx
[My musical heart: “Snowden” by Doves. It’s not snowing yet, but seriously—]