We all make stupid mistakes.
The best ones are the ones that take the longest to actually see the humor in, once the humiliation has worn off. Say, for example, that time I was in Kindergarten and my lovely mother was driving Carpool—a word that is about to have a brand new meaning.
I had to pee. Bad. Being a people-pleaser, I have a hard time sticking my neck out to ask for anything: a refill on my fountain drink, a favor, change for a $10, permission to go home when vomiting at work… On this occasion, I couldn’t bring myself to ask for a pit stop. I was parked in the front seat, little legs outstretched, kicking furiously. It was pretty dire—we even pulled into a 7-11—but for some reason I opted to test my fortitude and suffer in silence. With about a mile of A1A left to go—and I’d equate this to, were I hanging from a ledge, my last, aching digit slipping and going into a free fall—I gave up. On the floor. When a girl from the backseat leaned forward to ask me a question, her eyes went from me to the floor, and horror washed over her face.
My response? While fanning my face: “Man, is it hot in here? I am sweating. Look at all this sweat.”
Similarly, I’d love to know what in the hell Gregg Allman was thinking with this amazing cameo. I mean, to those who really knew him, I’m sure he didn’t need to vocalize the fact he needed dough for his opioids. But this is so bad, it’s good. And also sort of comforting to see a hero of yours in such a… humbling position. Anyway, whether he’s ready or not, let’s all laugh in unison at this little bit of cinematic brilliance.